Fabulous Las Vegas!

Fabulous Las Vegas!,
originally uploaded by amberqt.

Okay. We're home. And before I launch into any kind of a run down of my vacation, let me first hit 2 very important points:

1 - My left hand did not come back any heavier than when I left.
2 - Neither did my wallet.

Now that that's out of the way, let's commence... Vegas was HOTTER THAN HELL. But fun. I certainly understand better now why people love to go there. I never thought I'd be one to enjoy gambling, but I really did. And I LOVED the shows. We saw Lewis Black: Red, White and Screwed; Ka (Cirque du Soleil); and Phantom of the Opera. . The most spectacular of which was without question Ka. I could never do it justice, but let me just say this: It snowed in the fucking theatre. It was insane! There was even a fight scene which was done vertically. It was wicked.

Lewis Black was funny. It was so vegas! The seats were half-booth things with tables. Exactly what I expected it to be like. I half expected Wayne Newton to come out. :) :

Phantom. Okay - so for those of you who do not know this side of me: I am a theatre snob. I want to be seated in the orchestra section, or I pretty well don't want to go. And for all of these shows, we had AMAZING seats. All in the orchestra section. All in the first 5 rows. But for Phantom, that was a little too close. The chandelier fell behind us. Other than that, the theatre in which Phantom is held is INSANE! They have it all done up like a 19th century opera house. The sets were so cool. But for some reason (and I am guessing that Andrew Lloyd Webber had something to do with this) they changed the musical. Kind of a lot. Much like the movie (released last year-ish) the chandelier fell at the wrong part. Originally, it came crashing down during the part where Carlotta's voice gets a little froggy, and then he hangs a guy. Then, there would be an intermission, followed by the spectacular "Masquerade" scene. But they did not drop the chandelier until "Don Juan Triumphant". This pisses me off on a whole lot of levels. There were other parts that were skipped. I am sure that since it was Vegas, they were trying to be time conscious. But don't fuck with my favorite musical! (And, as for Mr. Webber - because I'm sure he reads my blog - What are you doing, man??? Don't change things now. Phantom was a masterpiece. Leave it the fuck alone!) Meanwhile, the Venetian needs to get some better ushers, AND they need to NOT ALLOW PEOPLE TO COME INTO A SHOW THIRTY MINUTES LATE!!! So, first, the usher is trying to seat people, DURING THE SHOW, and he is SPEAKING IN HIS NORMAL TALKING VOICE TO THESE PEOPLE! You've got to be effin kidding me! SHUT UP FOR FUCK SAKE! Then, the same usher brings in a family of 3 whose seats were (naturally) in the very middle of the row right behind us. The lady clocked Alex in the back of his head with her purse. People honestly have no couth!

Once I got over all of that, it was a great experience. And, yes - I still cried from the moment the overture began, until the last note was played. I identify so much with the Phantom. And it just rips my heart out how much he loves Christine, and how he cannot have her. (meanwhile, I'm the only one in my party who cried. I'm also the only one who identifies with the Phantom) Whatever.

We stayed at Bally's. I can reccomend staying there. It was in a great location, and cheaper than a lot of other places, and really not gross and sleazy. The view from our room was insane! There was the Eiffel Tower (from the Paris casino) AND we could see the Bellagio water show perfectly from our room too. We have some great pictures which I will post later on.

We flew on Champion Air with Worry Free Vacations. I cannot reccomend flying Champion. The people were great. It wasn't the people. But the planes. They were cramped, and they were HOTTER THAN THE BLAZES OF HELL.

Also on our trip, we celebrated Alex's birthday. I had a ring custom designed for him. It is beautiful, and I think he likes it! :) His brother gave him a WAY cooler gift. But I can't write about it on here yet.

Okay, kids... I do believe it is time for some guilt free nappage. (Cause napping while in Vegas is empty and joyless - because all you can think is: "I should be out doing something")

Pics to follow.

Can you hear that ticking???

I have my nephew with me this week. It's a little intimidating. I'm used to him being a baby. But he's a pre-teen! He's still young enough that he likes to watch cartoons. But he's old enough that he has an IPOD Nano, and a PSP. What is intimidating is I don't know how to entertain him. When he was a baby, it was enough just to be around. We could be running errands or whatever, and he was happy.

Now, he wants to do stuff. Go swimming. To the movies. Anywhere there might be other kids his age.

And yet, the other night, as he fell asleep while we were watching a movie, Alex looked at me and whispered "somebody's falling asleep" and I looked over at "the baby" and thought...I want one of my own.

The next day, we took him for an ice cream, and the guy behind the counter said I was a nice Mom. It was all I could do to not burst into tears. I said, "actually, I'm his aunt, but thank you" But on the inside I said "I'm not a mom... I am (so far) a barren wasteland!!"

Alright. MUCH to do today.

May be a while between posts.

Hope you can live without your Amber fix.

The Significance of Others

I just rolled back into Tulsa an hour ago. I am still high from being with all of my old pals! It is so easy to forget how important your friends are to your self-esteem until you've been deprived of them for a long period of time. Seeing them again was like jumping in to a refreshingly cool pool on a hot day. And even if I come out shivering, I'm still glad I got to take a dip.

Laura's recent email summed it up perfectly - Because you don't see someone on a daily basis, you feel that you're uninvolved in their life, but then you think back on it - and all the history you have with that person (or people) and you can see that your relationship with them is quite involoved.

She put it more eloquently.

I have recently comforted myself with the idea that I was glad of having no local friends because that meant no drama. Which is true - my life has very little drama. (unless I create it myself) But my life lacks Angie, and Laura, and Chad, and Tiffany, and Scott, and Rob, and although those are just the people I saw this weekend, my life lacks so many more of my old friends. You know, I said that I was worried I was loosing that person who I used to be. It's not because she's been stifled, or because my relationship with Alex has put my former self on a back burner. It's the absence of those people in my life who make that side of me appear. I was her again this weekend. I was witty, and funny, and charming, and confident. I didn't feel the need to hide in a corner to avoid being noticed. I knew that the people who surrounded me did so because they genuinely like being with me. (I don't want this to come out wrong... I know that the people in Tulsa genuinely like being with me... But they are my family, and they have to love me. My friends on the other hand, they CHOOSE to love me.)

I feel so good right now. It really is like a high. I know that in a couple of days, I'll forget the particular feeling I had when Angie and I laughed ourselves into asthma attacks - or how it felt to sit at a table with my girls last night trading blow job secrets and laughing so loudly that everyone else was jealous of our fun. I'll remember that it was great, but I won't be able to still feel it. Like I can right now.

These people built me up to a level of confidence I haven't seen since I moved away from Norman in 2004. I really hope I was able to do the same for them. Because I love every single one of them SO much. I hope that they were able to tell how funny, special, beautiful (or handsome - in some cases) and rare they are. These are some of the greatest people on the planet. And I am a better person for having them in my life.

Perhaps it is for that reason that I hesitate to find a new group of friends. None can live up to my Norman pals. No days can live up to the Halray Dr. days, or the Dolet days, or the nights at Bill's. I'm telling you, I know there are good times to be had in the future - but those days were LEGENDARY!

Alright - there's my love song for my friends. After hearing I read on your blog..." more than a couple of times this weekend, I know you guys are out there reading... Suffering, laughing, crying, and enjoying sweet little victories (and earthquakes) along with me.

Thank you SO much!

...more to come :)

Family Ties

Today was a day for being in a bad mood. Every other year, my Mom's side of the family has a family reunion. We go to different locations around the US, and it's usually pretty fun. The reason we decided to start having these reunions 10 years ago was that we were a family who only really got together for funerals and weddings.

The reunion in 2000 became a bit of a fiasco because my Mom was engaged at the time, and the family decided that fiancees were not going to be welcome. Was this because they just didn't like Mom's fiancee, or Mom, or did they truly believe that being engaged wasn't a serious enough commitment to consider you part of the family?? Or, was it that they really thought that it would be morally corrupting for their children to see two people in love who weren't married? Honestly, I don't know what the real reason was. They seemed to proclaim that it was the latter. That even if he did come, they couldn't *gasp* sleep in the same bed together, because that would send the wrong message.

When did being in love become the wrong message to send? We do not begin to love somebody on the day of our wedding. We fall in love first. Then, sometimes years later, get married.

Why is it that people outside of your relationship need such specific definitions and items of proof to respect the fact that you are in a committed and lasting relationship?

The problem now becomes the reunion in 2007. Plans are starting to form. And I want Alex to go. (and he wants to go) But I already know that if we aren't at the very least engaged, that I will be told that he can't go. And then what? I go to a reunion and spend a week with a group of people who don't respect my relationship? Or I stay home, and boycott the reunion? Alex is upset about it. And I don't blame him. If I were considering marrying into a family who wouldn't accept me until I was married, I'd be thinking twice.

It makes me feel like I'm 17 years old asking to bring my boyfriend who I've been dating on and off for 2 months. It makes me feel like my family won't see me as an adult, or a valid person, until I am married. And even then, maybe not until I have children.

I love my family. I have always felt like we were a pretty tight group. I have looked forward to these reunions since they began. (Even 2005's reunion for which we went to Ohio and just drove around looking at graveyards where our ancestors were burried) But I constantly feel like I am being judged by them. They, who so loudly proclaim to be Christian. And, it could be that I'm interpreting this all wrong.

But when I hear things like, "well, I don't mind if Alex comes, but I don't have any small children" It makes me want to scream!

How can a strong relationship based on love, trust, and mutual respect be a poor influence on a child?!?!? How can a couple who have been committed to one another for 3 years (four by then) be offensive simply because they don't have rings, or a legal document defining their relationship??

It would be one thing if we were all over each other, and planning on having sex right there in front of everyone.

It would be one thing if we wanted to preach anti-Christian sentiments to the children in an attempt to convert them to the godless lives which we must obviously live.

But all we want is to spend some time with my family. Maybe have a couple of meals, watch some movies, play some air hockey. I don't even think it would be that huge of an issue if we had to sleep in separate beds so as to not offend. Although that would be rediculous too.

So - what do I do?

As the head spins

Greetings oh ye few, but faithful!!

Welcome to my Sunday night. Technically, it's Monday morning. But I haven't been to sleep yet - so it counts as Sunday still for me.

The weekend has flown by (as they are all begining to) and I am faced again with another week. Less than one month to go before I am back to work. *Sigh* I know I've complained and complained about being bored - but I think I'll complain even more about the 6am wake-up calls that will commence Aug 15th. Really, the next few days are the last of the lazy boring days. This week is Norman, the next week will be Vegas, the next week Marmee's party - then back to work. We are on the downhill slope. And I'm already looking forward to May. Of 2007. ;)

While home, I've been doing what any good couch potato would do... watching Oprah. Last week, she had her Debt Diet show on all week. I learned a lot about how to budget. I even decided to revamp my spending habits to try and speed up the paying off my student loan process. I think the quickest I can do it (without some unforseen windfall of cash coming my way) is going to be 9 years. Man! That's a LONG time. I'll be on 40's doorstep instead of 30's. It's crazy to think of myself as thirtysomething. I have a hard enough time comprehending that I am not a teenager still. Do you think that our mental age stops at about 18? Sometimes I really think mine did. Not that I lack maturity. I think I've got the maturity part down pretty well - but I feel like I still look at the world through the eyes of an 18 year old. Aaaand then I remember that I'm actually 28, and I can HEAR my biological clock ticking, and I realize that I do know I'm not 18. Could I BE any more confused????

Sad but true - this all makes sense in my head.

So, after finding out that an old college friend from the days of Walker 230E and Halray Drive has gotten married from another friend who happened upon his myspace page, I've been searching through myspace. HELLO!?!?! SO many of my friends are on there, and I had no idea! I have happened upon 5 of my friends' myspace pages. FIVE! I did not know these people had pages! They never emailed me, or added me to their friends list. So - my question tonight is, is it an invasion of privacy to read your friend's myspace page if you weren't formerly invited to do so. I am feeling like the answer is "yes". (that having been said - I wouldn't care if one of my friends happened upon this blog without my invitation, and read it... But that's me.) So - I decided that unless someone tells me that they have one, I'll pretend like I don't know that they do.

Which I guess makes me a TOTAL loser, and a bit of a voyeur - but tell me something I didn't already know.

X and I saw Pirates this weekend. It was ok. It seemed, to me, like it was simply a stepping stone to get the audience to the 3rd movie. Unlike Harry Potter where each movie is its own entity - Pirates 2 was just the comma in between the fragments Pirates 1 and Pirates 3. I could be alone on that.

Well - that's about all from here. I'm not sleepy yet - so I am going to read a little. Those of you reading along, we're on page 68 of Treasure Island. Keep up the good work!!

Wet & Wild

So, on Tuesday, I had just finished working out on the treadmill, and Alex was leaving to run errands. I took off my tennis shoes, and walked him to the door in my socks. All of a sudden, my feet were SOAKED! It turns out that our air conditioner compressor drips. (it's supposed to) Well, the problem was that the drain it is supposed to leak into was clogged. A LOT! The part of the carpet that was soaked was about 8' by 4', and it wasn't just soaked... when you stepped down on it, it SPLASHED! Neither of us having owned a home, or ever having dealt with a situation like this - we weren't sure what to do. We called our Moms, our landlord, and our friend Chuck. Between all of those resources, plus our own (well, Alex's) idea to buy a $30 wet vac - we successfully sucked out 12 gallons of water from our carpet. There will be a stanley steemer person here at 9am. It's taken care of. But it really made us think... Are we ready to own a home?

That aside - the rest of the week is going along well. Just hanging out, working out, and trying to eat healthier. We've been on track and eating well for 7 days. It's gotten difficult once or twice. (we'd both LOVE some bread, or, you know, a PIZZA) But we're sticking with it for the long haul.

Tonight - after checking all the websites I look at daily (because my life is empty) I was searching MySpace for others who graduated from my high school. I found it odd that there was a definite air of success to those people who lived out of state. Okay - not all of them. There was no air of success for the guy living in Arkansas, or the one in Georgia. But those in New York, California, Seattle, Florida... They all seemed so much more successful just for the simple fact that they lived outside of Oklahoma.

Is it just me - or do people hold those who move away from "home" in higher esteem?

I'm only happy when it rains

mmmm. yummy! A stormy, rainy evening and night. I don't know that there is much better. :) As is true with my life, I prefer the chaos and rumble of a good storm to a clear, sunny day. Guess I'm twisted like that.

I finished reading Johnny Tremain last night. For those of you planning to read along at home, don't bother with this one. It wasn't a bad book perse. But it wasn't really a good one eithter. It was 250 pages I could have gone without reading. Except for the fact that I have to teach it this year. :)

Anyway, I think I'll be reading Treasure Island next. Then The Seer and the Sword. Good times.

So - here I am. All snuggly and cuddled up with a blankie. Listening to a good storm rumble through.

Feel like takin' a survey!

I saw these answered on one of my friends' pages... Thought it would be fun to answer them myself!

Enjoy!

* ABOUT YOU *

EYE COLOR: dark brown
HAIR COLOR: dark auburn-y brown
HEIGHT: 5'2"
FAVORITE COLOR: blue or pink
SCREEN NAME: ambercutie (on google talk)
FAVORITE BAND: Beatles (all time)
FAVORITE MOVIE: I have many... Breakfast at Tiffany's
FAVORITE SHOW: Stage: Phantom TV: Buffy
CAR: Saturn Ion
HOMETOWN: I guess Tulsa, OK
FIRST CRUSH'S NAME: Nathaniel Pierce :)
STYLE: I have one... Somewhere

* HAVE YOU EVER *

SAT ON YOUR ROOFTOP: Not this one. But I have sat on one.
KISSED SOMEONE IN THE RAIN: Oddly - I don't think so. But I SHOULD!
DANCED IN A PUBLIC PLACE: Yep.
SMILED FOR NO REASON: I love smiling! Smiling's my favorite!
LAUGHED SO HARD YOU CRIED: Frequently
PEED YOUR PANTS AFTER AGE 8: Oh, probably
WRITTEN A SONG: No. But several poems
SANG TO SOMEONE FOR NO REASON: More often than most
PERFORMED ON A STAGE: Yep, and fell off of one too.
TALKED TO SOMEONE YOU DON'T KNOW: Seriously, who hasn't done this?
GONE OUT OF YOUR WAY TO BEFRIEND SOMEONE: Yeah. I'm nice like that.
MADE OUT IN A THEATRE: Um... yup
GONE ROLLER SKATING SINCE THE 8TH GRADE: Rollerblading - yes.
BEEN IN LOVE? yes

* WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON TO *

SAY "HI" TO YOU: Phill
TELL YOU "I LOVE YOU": Marmee
KISS YOU: Alex
HUG YOU: Alex again
TELL YOU "BYE": Phill
WRITE YOU A NOTE: Marmee
TAKE YOUR PHOTO: Alex
HEROES APART FROM YOUR PARENTS: Nick (my cousin)

* WHY NOT MORE *

basics you might not know about me

NICK NAME YOU PREFER: Ber
ZODIAC SIGN: Aquarius/Pisces cusp
AGE INCLUDING MONTHS: 28 and 5 months
REAL HAIR COLOR: dark auburn-y brown
COLOR YOU DYE IT [IF YOU DO]: either darker, or more auburn-y
AGE YOU GOT YOUR FIRST PIERCING/TATTOO(S): ears - 12
MENTAL PROBLEMS/DISORDERS: none to speak of
SIGNIFICANT OTHER AND HOW LONG: Alex - 3 years
SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Straight

favorites you might not know about me

SHAMPOO/CONDITIONER: Catwalk Oatmeal Honey
DEODORANT: Degree
PERFUME/COLOGNE: Cashmere by Karan or J'adore by Dior
PERFUME/COLOGNE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX: Don't know. I just like boy smell
FAVORITE SHIRT: My ratty old hole-y OU shirt
FAVORITE PAIR OF PANTS: My green sweat-capris
PAIR OF SHOES: flip flops
COLOR YOU LIKE TO WEAR: I look good in blue and pink
SOAP: I use Dove. Don't know that it's my fave
LOTION: Aveeno
PICTURE OF YOURSELF: One my Dad took when I was 14.

deeper than that

DO YOU HOLD GRUDGES OR FORGIVE EASILY: Forgive, but learn
HOW MANY REAL, CLOSE FRIENDS DO YOU HAVE THAT YOU CAN TRULY TRUST: A couple
ARE YOU HAPPY WHEN YOU ARE SINGLE: More than I'm not
DO YOU REALLY LOVE YOURSELF: I do.
DO YOU HAVE ANY ANXIETIES: who doesn't
WHAT MAKES YOU MOST UNHAPPY: uncertainty
WHAT MAKES YOU MOST MAD: grad school advisors
DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE EVERYTHING YOU WANT/NEED: pretty much
ARE YOU CONTENT: for the most part
HOW DO YOU SPEND MOST OF YOUR FREE TIME: reading, watching movies
WHAT REALLY SCARES YOU: bugs
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHOBIAS: bugs, snakes, ucky things
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PHYSICAL FEATURE YOU HAVE: the eyes ALWAYS get 'em
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PART OF YOUR PERSONALITY: I like most of it
WHAT DO YOU HATE MOST ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE: I try not to hate on people
DO YOU FEEL UNDERSTOOD OR MISUNDERSTOOD: depends on who I'm talking to
DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH PDA: not within reason

other unknowns

TELL US SOMETHING MOST PEOPLE DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU: I'm shy
ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO SAY ABOUT YOURSELF: I think it's all being covered!

**69 MORE!**

WHERE WERE YOU WHEN THE BALL DROPPED FOR 2006: At our old apartment
HOW DID YOU GET THE IDEA FOR YOUR BLOG NAME: From a Cowboy Mouth Song
WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: Thunder!
HAS THE DEATH OF A CELEBRITY EVER MADE YOU CRY: I don't think so
WHAT COLOR UNDERWEAR ARE YOU WEARING: green and white
DO YOU LIVE IN A ZOO: it feels like it sometimes
WHAT DID YOU DO THIS MORNING: drank coffee, read paper
WHAT DOES YOUR MOM DO FOR A LIVING: she's a kick-ass CEO
WHERE DO YOU WORK: at a school
WHAT ENDED YOUR LAST RELATIONSHIP: his ambition
WHAT ARE THE LAST 2 DIGITS OF YOUR PHONE NUMBER: ten
WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU ATTENDED: coldplay
WHO WAS WITH YOU: Alex
WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED: Superman Returns
WHAT DO YOU DISLIKE AT THE MOMENT: grad school
WHAT FOOD DO YOU CRAVE RIGHT NOW: cocoa krispies
DID YOU DREAM LAST NIGHT: yes I did
WHAT WAS THE LAST TV SHOW YOU WATCHED: 30 Minute Meals
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF JEWELRY: My Tiffany's necklace!
NAME ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS WHO IS JUST LIKE YOU: Angie
WHAT IS THE LAST THING YOU ATE: Salad
WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND OF THE OPPOSITE SEX: Phill
WHO LAST IM-ED YOU: Crumpets!
ARE YOU ON ANY MEDICATION: Not prescription
WHAT SIDE OF THE BED DO YOU SLEEP ON: Right - as you look at it
WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING: grey
WHAT COLOR IS YOUR RAZOR: pink
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FROZEN TREAT: gelatto
HOW MANY TATOOS/PIERCINGS DO YOU HAVE: just one in each ear
WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE STORES: ones I can't afford
ARE YOU THIRSTY RIGHT NOW: nope
CAN YOU IMAGINE YOURSELF EVER GETTING MARRIED: YES
WHO'S SOMEONE YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IN A WHILE AND MISS: Crumpets, Laura, SCHU, all my old
Norman peeps! Angie, the boys...
WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT: Hung out.
DO YOU CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK ABOUT YOU: Sometimes
HAVE YOU EVER DONE ANYTHING TO INSTIGATE TROUBLE: Of course :)
DO YOU LIKE YOUR NOSE: Yep. It's WAY cute.
WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BEDROOM: White
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT: about 2pm today
DO YOU LIKE PEDICURES: love them!
WHERE DO YOU LIVE: You guys know that already
ARE YOU AN AGGRESSIVE DRIVER: not normally
WHO IS YOUR CELL PHONE CARRIER: Sprint
DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO YOU GOT THIS SURVEY FROM: LOVE HIM
DO YOU KNOW HIS/HER BIRTHDAY: I used to. :( I'm a horrible friend! :(
WHAT DO YOU MOST WANT TO CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF: my insecurity
WHAT COLOR IS YOUR CAR: Red
WHAT DO YOU SMELL LIKE RIGHT NOW: hand soap
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR: blue or pink
DO YOU LIKE MUSTARD: yes but not by itself
WHAT DO YOU TELL YOURSELF WHEN TIMES GET HARD: You can do this
WOULD YOU EVER SKY DIVE: I don't think so
WHAT DO YOU SLEEP ON: my tummy
WHAT CHARACTER FROM A MOVIE/TV SHOW REMINDS YOU OF YOURSELF: I'm the spastic, bastard love child of Carrie Bradshaw and Bridget Jones.
HAVE YOU EVER BID ON SOMETHING ON EBAY: yep
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF ANGELINA JOLIE & BRAD PITT HAVING A BABY: Good for them!
DO YOU ENJOY GIVING HUGS: to people I like - yes
WOULD YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE FASHIONABLE: not in an obvious way
DO YOU OWN A DIGITAL CAMERA: no - wanna buy me one?
WHAT CELEBRITIES HAVE YOU BEEN COMPARED TO: none that I'm aware of
WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE STAR WARS CHARACTER: C3PO - he's so prissy!
DOES IT ANNOY YOU WHEN SOMEONE SAYS THEY'LL CALL AND NEVER DO: nah. I understand
WHAT BOOKS, IF ANY HAVE MADE YOU CRY: Several have!
WHAT THE FUCK: Why the fuck not?
ARE YOU A JEALOUS PERSON: Yes!
DO YOU EVER FEEL GUILTY EATING MEAT: No, but sometimes it grosses me out
IF YOU WERE BORN THE OPPOSITE SEX, WHAT WOULD YOUR NAME HAVE BEEN: Justin or Robert
WHO DID YOU LAST SPEAK TO ON THE TELEPHONE: Dirty Phill
WOULD YOU... YOU KNOW... 69: Depends on with who.

Refurbishing a jewel

Energy up uP UP!!! Today I am really feeling my Wheaties. Eventhough I didn't have any. I had a 2-egg omlette, thank you - and it was yum-o.

After my super delicious breakfast - I was ready to take on the world! But, instead I took on my treadmill. I did just over a mile - and despite the fact that I was covered in sweat, I looked outside and saw 2 dirty, gross, badly in need of attention cars. So I donned my bathing suit and a pair of jean shorts - and outside I went. I cleaned the interior and exterior of both of our cars. And not just cleaned. Detailed. It took me just over 2 hours to get it all done. I can feel that my shoulders and arms might be angry with me over the matter tomorrow - but today, I don't care.

It was nice, and a little strange to have so much energy. And it's still going. I'm already turning my mind to "what to cook for dinner". Even though we had chicken yesterday - it might be chicken again... Ooh! Or Taco salads... *be right back*

Humpf! Not enough lettuce for taco salads. Maybe I can convince Alex to go and buy some more....

Anywho - I'm thrilled, energized, and handling the boredom better. ;)

Those of you in the Moore/Norman area - I'm heading that way soon... About 2 weeks from now. Clear your calendars!

90 Days RISK-FREE! No catch. No Commitment.

Today - I bent over and took it from NSU. To the tune of $500. I'm so bitter about it - I don't even want to get into it.

Otherwise, things are going along nicely. I'm reading one of the books I'll be teaching in the fall - and I'm starting to map out the year's lesson plans. I wonder if a whole year of teaching will zip by as quickly as the half year did. Somehow - I'm guessing it will. Some of the other teachers said that it seemed like they blinked - and had been teaching 10 years.

I'm really starting to get into the details of planning Marmee's 50th birthday bash! I've got the menu pretty well planned, and now - I'm just waiting for people to RSVP so I can get a final headcount. We invited close to 50 people. And that doesn't count any "plus ones" that they decide to bring. I can't wait! It should be a really great party!

Personal life? Eh. Things are alright. I really can't complain. That having been said - I am still feeling pretty self conscious. I'm wondering if I'll ever be the sassy, self-confident, brazen girl I used to be? I kinda hope I will. Looking back, it was pretty fun. (although after reading my previous post about this topic, I came out sounding like a bitch. I wasn't some man-eating psycho chick. I just knew what I wanted, and was totally unwilling to compromise)

Guess I don't have a long post in me today... I'm going to go read for a while.

I hope all is well with you out there!

L IF E

What haunts you when you are feeling self-conscious?

What if there was no lie
Nothing wrong, nothing right
What if there was no time
And no reason, or rhyme

What if you should decide
That you don't want me there by your side
That you don't want me there in your life

What if I got it wrong
And no poem or song
Could put right what I got wrong
Or make you feel I belong

What if you should decide
That you don't want me there by your side
That you don't want me there in your life

Let's take a breath, jump over the side
How can you know it, if you don't even try

Every step that you take
Could be your biggest mistake
It could bend or it could break
That's the risk that you take

What if you should decide
That you don't want me there by your side
That you don't want me there in your life

That's right
Let's take a breath, jump over the side
That's right
How can you know when you don't even try
That's right
You know that darkness always turns into light.

02 ytnewT/Twenty 20

I'm writing to you from my bed this evening. It's FREEZING in our house tonight. I can't really tell you why - but I am under the covers typing - and making all kinds of typos cause I'm damn near shivering.

Things are going well. I had a long conversation with Angie tonight about my relationship. Suffice it to say - she thinks I need to give Alex a chance to miss me some. I am thinking she might not be wrong. Unfortunately - I am committed to being here until he goes to San Diego - at which point I was already planning to visit Norman. So - it'll be a couple of weeks - and then he won't be missing me because I'm gone, because he'll be gone too. You know - I'll be back at work before anyone knows it - and he can miss me then. For nine months. Because when I'm working - I'm a crazy, out of control, no time for myself lunatic.

I made a romantic pajama picnic for us this evening. Originally - I was planning to have us eat on the floor. But I served rice, and it's too hard to balance a plate on your lap while trying to eat dozens of tiny little grains of rice - so I opted for the table. I put down a red and white checkered table cloth - lit several candles. I served parmesan crusted chicken, rice pilaf, salad, green beans, baguette, and boursin cheese. I also had Rosa Regale champagne and chocolate dipped strawberries for dessert! (That's right, boys... I'm the total package)

Mentioning the total package reminds me of something that Angie said tonight on the phone. She said that I have lost a big part of who I was. That I used to be a confident, sassy lil' thing who knew what she wanted, and exactly how to get it. Who would not settle for bullshit - and who wasn't willing to compromise her principles just to be with a man. She said that I am compromising too much. That I have lost the part of me who won't rest until she has what she wants. I never see this side of me. I've never once noticed it while it is happening. But thinking back on my life - I can recognize the girl she is talking about as myself. I was something else. If I saw a guy I wanted... he didn't stand a chance. He was mine. Then, of course, I would get to know him, and decide that he didn't have a clue - and I'd dump him. That's just how it always was. Now - I'm with Alex. And he has a clue, he does. But why have I become this woman who is so willing to wait and wait for a man. Three years and counting?!? Former Amber would not have waited this long. Former Amber would have said "Look here - I'm going this direction, and if you're going that way too - then we can go together, but if you're not, then this is where we say goodbye." And I guess I did sort of do that when I moved to Chicago. I was going my own way. I wasn't going to stick around for a man who never wanted to get married or have kids. But his song changed. And now he's open to the ideas of marriage and kids. And I find myself here in his waiting room. Patiently flipping through Highlights magazine, and not terribly conscious of the fact that my former self would NEVER have done something like this. So what does this mean? Have I grown? Am I a better person now? Am I just weak? Does it mean that Alex is indeed the right one for me because he was the one who could finally tame my wild nature? Or am I over-domesticated, and headed for a big fall after realizing that I have been stifled? That's what happened to my Mom. She became a person she wasn't for the sake of marriage and kids. (Well, kid. She did it for me) But I don't want to wake up one day twenty years from now and regret losing my identity entirely in a relationship. I still want to be sassy and confident. I still want to amaze myself and others with my will to see something I want, and make it my own.

I know that in relationships - you are supposed to blend together as one while still maintaining your individuality. And I know that is a delicate balance. What I do not know is how much of myself is acceptable to lose - and how much is acceptable to keep? I look at some of my friends' relationships and I wonder, "Have they given up too much? How much is too much?" Does there always have to be one who primarily takes and one who primarily gives in any relationship? If that's the case - then I'm the giver. But it gets so exhausting. Angie said that Alex should be making me romantic candle lit dinners. That everyday I come home, he should feel so lucky that I am coming home to him - and that he should treat me like a million bucks - because I am a million bucks. To that I say - maybe. But I sure am sitting on a really comfy Stearns and Foster bed right now. And I sure do live in a house that I couldn't afford on my own. I have all of these material things around me. Anything I even look cross-eyed at, he gets me. And I think that maybe that is his way of treating me like a million bucks. I don't think that all people can express themselves exactly the way their partners would hope. For instance - my candlelit dinner - though Alex really appreciated it - might not be his idea of an ideal romantic evening. It's mine - and so that is what I have to give him. Perhaps we can only give what we know.

Dear Mom, Today I saw a cow, and I met a duck, and I made a friend.

Wednesday already! My weekend flew past without a hitch. Saturday was spent shopping with my Mother. I spent WAY more money than I intended to. But I needed some new shirts. And usually - when I need shirts, I buy pants - and vice versa. But this time, I was successful at buying only shirts. (okay - and ONE skirt, but it was only $9 and super cute, so I couldn't pass it up!) Sunday is always a lazy day, and that's how I like it. We have our read the paper and drink coffee ritual on Sundays that I wouldn't trade for a whole bushel of walnuts.

Monday I cleaned a little more. Just the kitchen - nothing major. And then Alex and I ran errands. I acquired some Lamasil AT. This might be gross - but it's my blog, so here goes... My feet have always been dry and cracked on the bottoms. Always. I can't remember when they weren't. I've tried corn huskers oil - all brands of lotions - regular pedicures... NOTHING worked. And then I saw a commercial for Lamasil. It said that cracked feet could be a form of athlete's foot - and that I should spend $12 on an insanely small tube of their product to fix it. Well - I happened to have a $3 off coupon for the stuff, and I decided to give it a try. Wouldn't you know - after 2 days of use, I already see a difference! My poor feet. They were sick, and I didn't know. After speaking with Mom about it - we deduced that I probably got athlete's foot way back in the day when I used to share a locker room with a bunch of smelly boys - and I just didn't know. YUCK!

Yesterday was Superman day. Alex and I had tickets to the 10pm premiere. We got there at about 9 - and the line was nearly out the door of the theatre. The movie was really good. Now - growing up, I really wasn't a fan of the Superman movies. Admittedly, I haven't watched them since I've been an adult, but I hesitate to do so, because I really didn't like them as a kid. But this movie was actually good. I don't know whether it was the fact that I've been subjected to such movies as Daredevil and Hellboy that made this movie so appealing. But I have to say - it was enjoyable.

Tonight - another premiere! Blade the series premieres tonight on Spike TV 9pm central I expect all of you to be watching. Why, you ask is this so important? Simply because the brother of my sweetheart is a production assistant for this show. We are very excited for Sterling, and we're really proud of him for all the hard work he's been doing. (not to mention how proud of him we are that he had the sack to move out to LA and try to make it!)

There is no new news on the Master's degree front. I guess I'll be taking some undergrad English classes coming up this fall and spring. Bastards! I am thinking that I may as well find out what more I would need to do to make it into a 2nd bachelors. Since it's still a BA (which I already have) it shoudln't be too much more. And it might help me in the future. WHO knows?

I'm excited for this weekend! Heather is coming to town - Uncle Phill is coming too. And next week - I hear that my good friend Amy Ealey will be in town, and we might even get to have lunch or something! I am also sketching together some plans to hopefully go to the Moore/Norman area in mid-July to see all of my peeps there. No big plans for the 4th. Last year we went to "Boom pond" which was a private fireworks display put on by one of my friends. We were invited to that again this year - but Alex has vetoed the idea since last year - he ended up with 40 or so mini-marshmallow sized mosquito bites. (even despite the fact that we covered ourselves in OFF before we went out there)

Oh - and I cleaned the front room, dining room, family room today. I have been a productive little thing.

mmm... I'm thinking it's shower time.

Caution: Hot beverage

I'm so bad at this doing nothing gig that I'm going to turn myself into a maid. Okay - so it might not be exactly that dramatic. Marmee offered to fire her maid and let me clean her house for the same amount of money. I decided it would at least be something. Something to do and some extra cash.

Alex and I went to Wal-Mart tonight. We planted some herbs a couple of months ago, and they needed to be repotted. Now - I've never repotted anthing. Frankly, I've never even potted anything for the first time. But my moneymaker tomatoes seem to be thriving. Or - they WERE before I repotted them. Don't tell anyone - but I am not even sure what a "moneymaker" tomato is.

And that was our big Friday night. To be fair - we did go on a mini double date with Marmee and Rico. We had a nice dinner at Outback steakhouse.

Now - after flexing my green thumb, I am here on my sofa watching re-runs of Sex and the City and Will & Grace. At least I wasn't a total slug today, though. I cleaned all three of our bathrooms today. I'm hoping that I will dust and vaccum tomorrow. Then maybe Sunday I will mop the kitchen floor and FINALLY get my office all set up.

Okay.... Resuming slackery.

Don't mention it

Hi guys.

Just a hot and muggy Thursday here in la la land. My brain is slowly oozing out of my ears. I have nothing to occupy it with. I am short 150 kids, and my sanity.

Did I tell you that this year is my ten year high school reunion? Yep. And for those of you who haven't yet experienced this rite of passage - let me give you a heads up... You have to pay to attend. Now, I'm not an idiot... Really. I figured, you know, $35 bucks tops. I didn't guess it would be... $150 for the weekend. That's right. One hundred and fifty dollars. Are they insane!?!?!?!

In other news, I'm so bored I considered cleaning my neighbors' (whom I've never met) houses for free. >somebody save me<

I find it interesting that just as being really busy is a non-motivator to be productive, so is being really not busy. I was such a vegged out slug yesterday, that I actually felt like I was getting sick. I wasn't, of course, but I really thought I must be. I even took my temperature.

It's about to rain here, and the biggest most exciting part of my day (going to the grocery store) is about to get rained out. Guess I should go clean a bathroom, or finish unpacking my office.

In an era of male dominance, violence and conflict, she becomes known as "River Queen", generously helping others. Including some who want to kill her

Good Sunday evening, readers!

I hope everyone had a nice Father's Day. Mine was celebrated last night with my Dad. He invited me to go to his church with him for a special Father's Day service. So - today was a lazy day. I tried out a new recipe (parmesan crusted chicken cutlets) out of a Real Simple magazine. It was super yummy and way easy!

Now - Alex is off in his office, and I am here at my laptop. I've been working on getting my home office out of chaotic state in which it's been living... But it's turned out to be bigger than a one-afternoon project. I've got a couple of bookshelves to put in there that will hopefully help. SO MUCH JUNK! And to think - I got rid of a bunch of junk before we moved here!

Alex and I had a movie weekend. On Friday - we went to see Nacho Libre. It was ok. Not the best Jack Black movie - but entertaining. Then, yesterday - we saw District B13. If you have a theatre that shows independent films - go as soon as possible to see this movie. It had some great action in it - and an interesting plot. *warning* the movie is in French with English subtitles. But it is way worth it. You get to see really neat examples of "parkour" which is the art of constant motion. Think Matrix but real.

The summer is starting to speed by too quickly. Before I know it - July will be here and gone.

2am musings

I think my brain has become too idle. Not that my class is overwhelmingly easy. But - my brain and my body became used to the frenzy that is being a teacher. And now, I have free time. So much so that it has zapped my focus for anything AT ALL, and has since made it impossible for me to sleep tonight. So, Alex is in bed. Slumbering blissfully. And I have returned to the dining room and my laptop.

*sigh*

Nothing is "wrong" perse. I'm just... God! I can't even think of a word to describe how I'm feeling. Just not at home with myself these days. I have doubt infesting my brain like a mossy parasite. I doubt everything right now. And I know it is this setback with my Masters that has me so self-conscious. On one hand, it's sad to know that something over which I have zero control can affect my mood in such a way. And on the other hand - it really shows that getting this masters and subsequent PhD is really important to me. Enough so that I am completely frustrated with any and all bumps in the road to getting those things.

When I start to feel all spastic and out of control, my mind always takes me back to college. The days when I was so surrounded by friends that I could barely take a dump without someone else in the room. I know that I must have been longing for some alone time then. Now - I long for some non-alone time. Not that I'm alone. I'm not. I have Alex. But it is one thing to have a boyfriend, and quite another to have a friend. And I have friends. I have Angie and Phill and Crumpets and Laura and Tiffany and Sarah etc... But I don't have a single one of them here. Which is I guess what happens after college. We move on. But don't we get other friends once we've moved on? Don't we have work friends and neighbors? At very least school friends. I had a couple of school friends when I was getting my teaching certification. But our lives kept us from making those friendships into lasting ones.

I have a million things I could be doing right now, reader. I could be planning for the school year, reading for my class, finally setting up my office, hell - I could even be watching TV - but the truth is that none of that places even a distant second to sitting right here at my laptop letting you in on all that is running through my mind.

I hope it hasn't been altogether unpleasant for you.

Elvis sightings

I am sitting at my table with a yummy fresh cup of coffee ready to take on the world this morning. I don't have class until 430, and I've already finished my novel for this week. Actually - it was pretty good.

In store for me this week, aside from class, I'll be seeing The Lion King! I'm really excited about that! Otherwise, not a whole lot going on.

Special shout out to my cousins Michael and Cathy, whose birthdays are today and tomorrow respectively. :) Have a good one, guys!

Funny. One part of me is wishing away summer and its heat. Another part of me wants it to last forever! The staying up late playing Nintendo with Alex, the sleeping in til whenever. I just need to add in some sugary cereal, cartoons, and summer camp - and it's just like being a kid again! :) (you know, minus the grad school)

My time is much more free now that I'm not working on a thesis. Although I'll be 57 years old by the time I get my masters... But oh well. At least I'll get the one I actually need. The thought briefly crossed my mind to go ahead and get the MS degree, and THEN get the MA. It would probably take the same amount of time. But who needs to go through the thesis writing process twice, I ask you?

Marmee and I had a girls' day yesterday. We got pedicures (mine was courtesy of my Aunt Donna!) and then we saw "The Break-up". It was fun to just hang out and be girls. The movie was different from what I was expecting... But good nonetheless. All though since it was set in Chicago, it really made me crave a good visit to the windy city. It has been nearly 2 years since my last visit. I'd really love to stay downtown in a fancy hotel for at least a couple nights. And then, of course - stay with my family.

All right - I'm out...

You came back to haunt me and I realised That you were an island, and I passed you by

Underachiever's Love Song

I'm bored. I can't think of anything good to do. I baked. I made up a hybrid recipe. All though I'm sure it's not my own original recipe... But I made a yellow-butter cake with a pecan coffee cake crumbly top. In 34-38 minutes - we'll see if that worked out.

Should be reading. For those of you keeping up at home - this week is Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen. Read along!

ugh!

I'm out.

Get a circus makeover!

I'm back from North Carolina. It was a great trip. It was so nice to see my family. The graduation itself was so fun. That's right - I said a graduation ceremony was "fun". The North Carolina School of the Arts does things a little (okay, a lot) differently than other high schools. First - the students do not wear the traditional cap and gown. They wear whatever they choose. I have to say I liked the fact that they could express who they are through their clothes. Nick (my cousin) wore a cap and gown. He was the only one. Much like a college graduation, they graduated in groups divided up by schools. The school of dance, visual arts, music... Nick was in the school of drama. They were the most entertaining to watch. One guy walked across the stage to accept his diploma on stilts. One rode a unicycle. One, wearing a pimp suit and carrying a cane, stopped in the middle of the stage and in his best projecting voice said, "Ladies and gentlemen, I am about to be graduated." the place went up in laughter and applause. Nick, whose last name begins with a Z, was the last in his school to go across. They called out his name, and faintly in the background "Chariots of Fire" began to play. Nick ran across the stage IN SUPER SLOW MOTION. He slow-motion mouthed "thank you" to the chancellor as he received his diploma. Then to the front of the stage. Still in slow-mo, he unzipped his gown. (Side note - you couldn't tell whether he had clothes on or not underneath the gown, so as he reached for his zipper... he heard someone behind him say "oh, god") He tore off his gown, swung it around over his head, and threw it into the audience. Then, on to his drama teacher who he proceeded to pick up and carry off the stage. I know I'm biased. He is, afterall my baby cousin, and as dear to me as a brother... But Nick stole the show!! It was then that I realized - out of the millions of people who want to be stars - Nick already is one. So many many people want to go to LA and "make it". Nick will have no trouble.

On to me... I started summer school on Monday. I'm taking a class called "History of the Novel". In 8 weeks - we will be reading 7 novels. I finished the first one last night as I have a quiz over it today. Also - I did find out for sure that I am having to change my Masters from an MS in College Teaching to an MA in English. Turns out that if I want to get the PhD in English - I at very least have to have the MA in English. Needless to say - I am frustrated. I was 12 hours in. Would have been 18 hours in with a thesis done by the end of this summer. Now - at the end of this summer - I'll be 6 hours in, and maybe I'll be fully accepted in to the MA English program. But that's a pretty big maybe. Turns out - I have to have 30 hours of undergrad English to be accepted. I have 24. An undeclared minor. Why, you ask, do I have to have 30 hours of undergrad English? I have NO IDEA. I've already requested a meeting with my new advisor to discuss what hell he's planning on putting me through. I'm really frustrated that I was recruited for this MS program. I have never been unclear about my future goals. Masters, PhD, professor of English. I should never have been in the MS program. I should never have been recruited.

But what's done is done. It is going to take me a LOT longer to finish my masters now. Especially if I have to take 6 more hours of undergrad. Alex and Marmee both pointed out the fact that that time will pass whether I get my masters or not. True. But I'd rather get this damn thing out of the way!!

The heat of summer is upon us. 90 degree weather - and hotter. YUCK!

This is me - signing off, and thinking cool thoughts - until we meet again.

Nick Graduates!

Nick Graduates!,
originally uploaded by amberqt.

You might have to click on this to see it best. But here is Nick - tearing across the stage in super slow-motion to accept his diploma. Funny stuff.

Cute house!

Cute house!,
originally uploaded by amberqt.

This is our little home. Isn't it the CUTEST?!?!?

Two wheels - no rules

It's Sunday - must be time to update the blog. It's finally summertime, and that means it's time to start on my thesis. I'm gonna attempt to knock the whole thing out - start-to-finish - over the course of the next 3 months. Let's see if I can do it. :) I'm so glad to have my first semester of teaching out of the way. I know I'll get really nervous in the face of the new school year (and that anxiety will probably set in around, oh - July...) but at least I can tell myself that I did complete one semester successfully. The circumstances under which I did my first semester were anything but ideal - so I'm thinking I can handle whatever comes my way.

On Friday, I moved all of my things into my new room. I don't know whether I posted this on here - but I was reassigned within my school. My school has 2 programs - one for the students who live in the community (which is aptly named the "community" program) and a magnet program (which is referred to as the "accelerated" program) for which students must apply and be accepted. I went to a magnet school when I was in middle school. Mostly - they offer higher-level or "pre-AP" type classes, and the kids often take foreign languages. Anyhow - I was teaching 8th grade community reading this past semester, but they administration thinks I am better suited to teach 8th grade accelerated reading, SO they switched me with the teacher who was handling the accelerated reading class. I got a MUCH bigger and nicer classroom out of the deal. :) There is definately a HUGE divide between the community and accelerated programs. The teachers feel it - and the kids REALLY feel it. When my kids found out, they felt a little betrayed. (especially those who will be repeating their 8th grade year) They said things like, "but you're not a snob!" and "you're going to turn into one of them! You're too cool to be ". I admit - feelings of guilt did begin to set in a little. When the administration asked me to switch programs - it was March, and I had yet to fall in love with my students. I said "yes" immediately, thinking only that this would be a MUCH better move for my career. I admit I didn't actually think about my kids. For that - I feel TERRIBLE. But, I made the decision, and I still think it's the best thing for my career. I simply assured my kids that I would still be there for them... just in a different room.

Three of my kids have a band. They got to perform at Mayfest this year and I went to see them. I became an instant groupie - they are SO good. (Mayfest - for those of you who aren't Tulsans is a street festival in downtown Tulsa where artists and musicians can come out and show/sell their stuff). No one would have believed that they are all only 14! But they are. Those 3 were some of my favorite students... And I am so touched that I was their favorite teacher.

I got a yearbook and let the kids sign. I have to say - I cried after a couple of the entries. These kids are so sweet. I'm really going to miss them. On the other hand - there are some of them I am SO glad to be rid of. :)

Alex and I are settled into our new place. We still really love it. It's funny - when you aren't cramped into 800 square feet, how easy it is to keep a place looking clean. That having been said - my big plan for this holiday weekend is to really give the place a good once over. What I love best is Sunday mornings... We sit at our dining room table and look out of our picture window while reading the paper and (in my case) drinking coffee. This house is so great! I'm sure once we have kids - it will start to feel smaller... But for right now, it is the perfect size!!!

Vacations for the summer? We have one that I can't really talk about on here. But it'll be fun. And then the other is just me... I'm leaving this Thursday to go to Winston-Salem, North Carolina to see my cousin Nick graduate from NCSA. He is going to move to the other side of the country in the fall to attend USC. I couldn't be prouder of the man he has become. I know that he is a person who will accomplish great things. It's strange to say this - because I'm 10 years his senior - but I really look up to Nick.

Well - this post has gotten exceedingly long. Watch for pics coming soon.

Scope the comments

Will post MUCH more at the end of this last CRAZY week. Just 4 more days with the kids, then 1 day without... THEN S-U-M-M-E-R!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Scope the comments section from the last post...

Nine more days - but who's counting?

Okay - I admit it... I AM! I think I'm more excited than the kids are! Despite the fact that I'll be in school myself all summer. I am truely looking forward to NOT being the one who has to come up with the assignments, and then grade them. Not to mention not being the one to keep the classroom in order. I am SO glad to have a 3-month vacation from having to say "zip it", or "who gets the first referral", or "guys, quizzes are still out, STOP TALKING". I won't have to confisgate notes - or keep a sharp eye out for kids texting their friends. I can just relax and sit back when I see someone listening to an Ipod. :)

Yesterday, the kids had their 8th grade assembly - which they treat like a graduation. They were all dressed up and their parents came to snap photos and cheer them on. It was cute, really. But I couldn't help thinking that it's a shame that these kids are in such a hurry to feel grown up. If you have a prom and a graduation at the end of 8th grade, then it's not as new or exciting when they do it a 2nd time their senior year.

For the next 2 weeks - I'll be grading grading grading. I have to have everything graded and turned in by Friday the 26th. So - I decided that their final will be the 17th. That should give me plenty of time to get it graded, and out the door.

Tomorrow is Mother's Day. Don't forget to call your Mommy. :) I am going to re-post the Random questions... I saw that my man Davey from the block responded to the original post - and I wanted to address his... and anyone else who wants their chance....

1) Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
2) I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3) I'll tell you what your superpower is.
4) I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5) I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6) I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7) I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.

The "ayes" have it.

Okay - not that I was flooded with calls and letters (or even emails) begging me to continue the blog. But a couple of you have responded stating that you wouldn't know what I was up to without this thing, and so I shall continue.

This weekend has been a whirlwind of excitement. My cousin Brian graduated from TU law school on Saturday. (HOORAY!) So - his mom, sister, brother, sister-in-law, and our grandmother came in from Chicago to celebrate. My cousins were our first guests in our new home. It was really fun to have company! In fact, my cousin Michael and Alex were like peas and carrots. I didn't realize before how much they have in common. They stayed up late each night watching TV, playing video games, and just cracking eachother up!! I suddenly began to feel badly that Alex is surrounded by women 99% of the time. He never has another male to pal around with. (Esp. since his brother moved away) So - it was nice for him to have some testosterone around, and it was so much fun for me to have my family here. It was busy - we didn't get enough sleep - and I'm definitely coming down with a cold/flu type of thing... But it was all well worth it. My aunt will be staying until this Tuesday, and my Grammy will be staying with us through Mother's Day! (So next weekend is going to be crazy too!) The sad news is that Brian will be moving away back to Chicago, and that this time - it will be for good. (normally - he moves back for the summer, and then returns in the fall) Eventhough I rarely see him, I will miss having the opportunity. :(

Work has been great. CRAZY busy! And the kids are SUPER SQUIRRELY!!! They have 8th grade senioritis. We're just trying to make it through the next couple of weeks. Only 3 more Mondays (including tomorrow)!!!! THEN - I am going to North Carolina to see my cousin Nick graduate from North Carolina School of the Arts! And, to wish him luck as this fall he will be a freshman at the University of Southern California!! I couldn't be prouder of Nick! He is so talented, and disciplined. I have to admit that although I am 10 years his senior... I totally look up to him. I aspire to be HALF as dedicated and talented as he one day. (you know, not necessarily as an actor - but, dare I say, a teacher perhaps?)

Summer school starts June 5th. I'll be working on my thesis, and I'm enrolled in 6 hours. My hope is to get my thesis completely finished (or as close as possible) over this summer - so that I can EASILY just wrap up the few classes I have left to take - and move right on through to the PhD. (and then I'll have to change my blog name to "Dr. Amber Said") ;)

The NyQuil is starting to take effect, and so I will end this post for now.

Let me know how you are doing. I have not heard from many of you in quite a while!

Sad state of affairs

I post on this damn blog under the dillusion that people actually read it. Seems I was incorrect. :( To continue the blog - or not to continue the blog... That is the question. Whether 'tis nobler to fade away, or to bow out whilst still under the impression that you are interesting...

Tales of an 8th grade nothing

It's stormy here today. At one point, during my 6th hour class - it was so dark outside that we literally could not see 2 feet outside of the windows. That part of the storm just produced hail, and a TON of rain and was gone in about 20 minutes. But it was kinda funny how spooked the kids got. Several of them wanted to call their parents. I let them. I'm just that kind of person.

We even had a tornado warning about an hour ago. (for those of you not living in tornado alley - a tornado watch is when conditions are likely to produce a tornado, and a tornado warning is when there actually is a mezocyclone - or a tornado, but not necessarily one on the ground). That was your meterology lesson for today. Anyone smarter than I can feel free to comment and let me know any inaccuracies. (of which I am sure there are plenty)

Moving on... Things are okay here. I've had a clumsy spell today though. I actually fell out of my chair at work (thankfully NOT when the kids were in the room). I should have a California-shaped bruise on my left arm by morning. It REALLY hurts.

I got all of my grades done for progress reports. I'm SO relieved, because I was starting to think I might never get them done! I simply need to input them tomorrow. (I am waiting because I have 2 students who are turning in a couple of things late to save themselves from getting F's on their progress reports)

I am SO excited to report that I am going to North Carolina at the end of next month for my cousin Nick's graduation. He will be graduating from the North Carolina School of the Arts (NCSA), and getting his high school diploma. He'll have a couple of months - and then head off to college. I'm so proud of him. I am also proud of my crazy-smart cousin Brian who in 2 weeks will be graduating from TU law school!!! The poor guy has been in college for 8 years straight! I am sure he'll be glad to graduate, and get to move back home to Chicago. '

Okay - and as inspired by Alex's brother's blog...

Let's see how many people actually read this blog.

1) Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
2) I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3) I'll tell you what your superpower is.
4) I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5) I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6) I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7) I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.

TBS Saturday

Okay - As it turns out, I'm not dead... Just SUPER flaky, busy, and still in boxes from my recent move. :)

First - the move... Alex and I found the CUTEST house! It's a 4 bedroom, 3 bathroom 2,500 square foot home here in Tulsa. The rent is a bit more than we were hoping to spend, but still within our range.

We LOVE this place! It's so cute! Brick with arches in the front - a nice yard in the back... It's so nice that we can be on opposite sides of the house - and not even know the other is there. :) (even so, we still tend to follow each other around the house) (how cute are we????)

Teaching is still going great! I really feel like I have a better handle on the kids, and I've even got some nice relationships with a couple of the kids. It is the most exhausting and fulfilling job! I have been asked back for the 06 - 07 school year, and have decided to stay on. I guess it's official - I'm a teacher!!

For the summer, my plan is to take 6 hours of master's classes. I wanted to take 9 - but they didn't have any other classes I could take. :( So I had to settle for just six.

In other news - last night - I was going to take a shower, and turned on the faucet - by some fluke - I ruptured a vein in my left index finger. It was truly disgusting! My finger turned purple-ish blue and filled with blood so much it swelled to almost twice its size. YUCK! But it's really ok. Just going to have an ugly finger for a while.

So - what is new with you, my faithful few???

If it's a thousand words you want...

So - I'm having this strange craving for pictures. Not necessairly new pictures - but just lots of them. Pictures of my friends and my family - either with or without me in them, I really don't care. Do you have some pictures for me? Please email me any you have on your computer - OR snail mail me some!

Maybe the craving comes from the fact that I haven't actually laid eyes on most of you in WAY too long. So - I suppose you should feel all warm and fuzzy 'cause I miss you. But don't get all big-headed about it. :)

I'm doing okay today. I could NOT go to sleep to save my life last night. It was past 230 am when I finally got to sleep. And ol' faithful - my super annoying alarm clock blared right on schedule at 6. I was so pissed off that I had to get up. After a week of relaxing and sleeping in. Oh, spring break, you are a cruel cruel temptress!!

I input my grades for the 3rd quarter today. I'm ahead of schedule, because they don't have to be in until Wednesday. But I am already done with them, so I figured I might as well get 'em in there.

Okay - I'm babbling. I think I should be thinking seriously about going to bed.

Fait des beaux reves!

Dear American Airlines,

Okay. First - sorry for the delay in posting. I didn't have a computer in LA - and leading up to spring break - I was a CRAZY busy person!!!

So - I've made it through my first 9 weeks of being a teacher. Miraculously - I'm still alive! :) The quarter officially ended March 17th. I've even got my grades all figured and ready to go. Coming up this week - my first experience with parent-teacher conferences! YIKE! :)

On to spring break! I was SO relieved and ready for spring break! No more work for one whole week! The plan was this: Alex left for LA on Thursday (3/16) and I was supposed to meet him there on Sunday (3/20) then we'd return together on Thursday (3/23). That WAS the PLAN.

What really happened was: I arrived at the Tulsa airport Sunday - was delayed more than 4 hours - went home, came back to the Tulsa airport Monday morning at 430 - was delayed SIX hours - flew to Dallas - missed the connection - had to fly to LA instead of Burbank. Then my luggage was in Burbank - so I had to wait 24 hours for it to be delivered to me. UGH!

While in LA - we had a fantastic time! We went to Universal Studios and City Walk, a great restaurant called Miceli's, and of course In & Out Burger. We got to see his brother a couple of times. It was a really fun time. :)

But then - it was time to come home. Dun dun duN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We were scheduled to leave Burbank at 1237pm. We boarded the plane and sat there until 4pm. Then arrived to Dallas 3 minutes before the plane for Tulsa was leaving. Luckily - we made it onto that flight - but alas, our bags did not. Here's the kicker... At the last minute, I checked my carry-on bag. I just decided I didn't want to mess with lugging it around. And - as luck would have it - I happened to put my keys in my carry-on. So - when we arrived in Tulsa, We had no car key - and no house key. We had to take a cab - $40, then wait outside in 38 degree weather for an HOUR for the emergency lock-out service in our complex to come let us in. We got home at midnight.

But our bags were delivered here about 30 minutes ago - and now we're here, and glad to be home. :)

How was YOUR spring break??

The Oscars and the GROUCH!

I would be the Grouch on the couch watching the Oscars. I'm only grouchy because I wanted to do lots of things today - like finish grading papers, clean the house, etc... Somehow I managed to get away with only doing the dishes (and that was only out of SHEAR NECESSITY, and then I came right back to the couch. I didn't even make dinner. I can't decide what it is that I would make or eat for that matter, so I've elected to just do nothing. Alex laughs when I get like this, because I get so grumpy so fast - and then about 30 minutes later, I'm fine again. :) (Some call it "mood swings" I call it "just part of my charm")

The Oscars are at least mildly entertaining. I feel a little slacker-y even about them though, because I haven't seen the movies up for best picture... Except for Crash - which I thought was an excellent film. I was halfway planning on going to see Brokeback Mountain yesterday by myself - but ended up with a miagraine - and opted to not.

SO - I've been a busy girl... Alex and I went last Monday to see Fiona Apple and Coldplay in OKC. It was a great concert. Fiona is a bigger freak than I thought. I wonder if she's like that in real life - or if it's just a facade... Coldplay was damn near flawless... Except for the part where Chris Martin (the lead singer) came out with his pants (or "trousers" as he called them) unzipped. :) Actually it was funny.

I took Tuesday off work - since we didn't get home until 2am. Then the rest of the week was filled with school preparations - and seeking rental houses. (which, by the way - we're in the market for one at least a 3/2/2 not terribly expensive in Tulsa - if you know of one, email me!)

It seems like weekends evaporate. I really didn't do much of anything, but I feel like it was Friday night about 3 minutes ago. Lame. All weekends should contain no fewer than 72 hours.

So - we saw a house today, and we both fell in love with it... It is newly built - no one has ever lived in it... It was a model home for a new neighborhood in Broken Arrow... It is a little outside of our price range, but we decided we could swing it - and we called the landlord. And wouldn't you know it - SOMEONE ELSE RENTED IT FROM UNDER US!!! We were both just sick about it. I called the landlord and pouted. He promised if the other people didn't check out that he'd call us first thing. But I am not optimistic. :( So - back to the drawing board. Damn! I thought we had gotten somewhere.

Now - we're getting ready for our trip to LA. Coming up soon! Hooray for spring break! And summer school starts June 5th. Through July 28th. I'll be a busy bee once again for the summer.... Life is just speeding right along.

It's not always a good thing, but right now, I'll take it.

Okay - now that I've spoken with you, I'm feeling MUCH MUCH better.

See you real soon!

Goes to show, you never can tell.

My friend Angie and I have been discussing the sad fact that one can never truly know another person. No matter who it is, or how well you think you know them; really all you have is faith that the person you are trusting is actually who they say they are. And I'm not talking about people leading double lives - nothing that dramatic. I'm just talking about the secrets we all keep from the world that always find their way to the surface, surprising, shocking, and often times, disappointing those around us.

I won't go into any details for the sake of anynimity, but suffice it to say, both Angie and I found out some things about people who are VERY close to us that left us both hurt, shocked, and disappointed. (And it wasn't the same person - or the same act)

I guess the most important thing I'm learning from this is that if someone is bold-faced lying to me, when I find out the truth - I should just leave it alone. Confrontation won't help the situation, and neither will getting myself involved. Though - it leaves me sad, because I have (in self defense) become indifferent to this person who I love. I just don't care. I don't want to know anymore. I don't want this person to go to the trouble of lying to me, avoiding me, or even talking to me anymore. I just want this person to go on with his/her life, f*ck it up as much as possible - and then do not come to me when it all hits the fan.

Crappy attitude, I know... But I'm so tired of trusting people, only to be disappointed that my trust went unvalued.

Not that I'm so perfect.

Anyhow - it's been a busy week. My Grammy has been in town since Feb. 15th and I have LOVED having her here!! But it has meant that I haven't been home much. Most days - I'd leave the house at 7 or a quarter of, and then not get home until 10... But it has been worth it!! Eventhough she forgets things easily - and sometimes gets lost - and sometimes argues for no good reason, she's still my Grammy. I just take everything with a lighthearted attitude with her - and she doesn't get on my nerves. She gets on the nerves of some members of my family quite easily. What they don't realize is - A) She is not doing it to intentionally bother them - B) She is not going to be around forever, and then how will they feel having had such a short fuse with her - and C) None of us would be here today if it weren't for her, so respect is in order.

Again - not that I'm so perfect.

I just call 'em like I see 'em.

Maybe I need to take my high horse to bed for the night. Re-reading this post - it sounds like I'm staging an attack on all of the morally devoid people in my life.

I'm not. I'm just annoyed at the stupidity that I am faced with sometimes.

And I'm sure people get annoyed with me too. Probably more often than I realize.

Good things come in little blue boxes

Not a ring, but a beautiful floating heart necklace.
I love it!!! I was so shocked to see the pretty little blue box with the perfect little white ribbon! It certainly helped to make my birthday a particularly happy one! He also gave me the complete series of Buffy the Vampire Slayer on DVD - which most of you know is one of my all time favorite TV shows. (If not my absolute favorite...) So I was really excited about that too! I had a very nice birthday. 3 of my classes serenaded me at school. We went to Shogun for dinner (Me, Alex, Grammy, Dad, Judy, Brian and Jennifer) It was a good time, and the food was so yummy! Tomorrow (Sunday) we will be going out with Mom. Children of divorce always get 2 birthday celebrations. :) I've selected PF Changs for that occasion. I have a serious jones for expensive Asian cuisine. ;)

I got phone calls from several of you. Thank you very much! I have to say - I went to bed with the warm snuggly feeling that my friends and family are wonderful! I truly felt loved and special yesterday. Even mother nature wanted to give me a present, and she gave us almost an inch of snow. :) Coming home last night, blue box in my pocket - I got a little misty-eyed at the beautiful white snow. So peaceful - and just for me. Or so it seemed.

Today - we stayed in for the most part. It was cold and still snowy outside. We did, however, venture out to go and visit with Grammy. We played Scrabble. Mom was the winner - and I was the BIG loser. I don't think I even broke 100 points. But it was fun to play. Then Alex and I took advantage of the empty grocery store and got our shopping out of the way. Now we are enjoying a cozy evening at home. And soon we will snuggle into bed. YAY!

I couldn't be happier that this is a 3 day weekend! That means tomorrow night, I don't have to pack my lunch, fix my coffee, do laundry, NOTHING! I can just go to sleep with the comforting thought that I can sleep in the next morning! What could be better???

I know spring break will be here before we know it. Feels like Christmas was only about a week ago.

Good night, friends. I wish you all little blue boxes of your own!!!

Time flies - and then no need to endure anymore...

Hello all.

So I find myself again sitting on a Sunday night scratching my head and wondering where my week went. It seems only moments ago that it was last Sunday night, and I was in quite the same position. Only sick. I am feeling much better. How does the saying go, "it always gets darker before it gets light"? Well - it proved true for me last week. I was so sick, infact, that I actually called in sick to work on Wednesday. I lost my voice more times than I can count this week. I'm still a little sneezy and cough-y, but feeling a million times better. Alex was sick this week too. So we were a miserable pair on Tuesday the 7th, which was our 3 year anniversary. He made reservations for us at a fancy restaurant for that night, but we wound up postponing until Thursday when we were both feeling better. We went to Flemming's on Thursday. It was nice, romantic, fancy, all the things that I love!! It is the kind of place where they check your coats, and they comb the crumbs from the table top between courses. And they have courses. :) We had a lovely meal.

The rest of the week was me being frustrated that I was sick. And then me being frustrated with the extra duties involved with being a teacher. These things make me think that teaching at the secondary school level may not be the best permanant place for me. But who knows? I'm only 1 month in right now. Once I get used to balancing my time better - I might even grow to tolerate the extras. Right now, they're overwhelming, and annoying, and really pissing me off! :(

I'm excited because my Grammy is coming to visit and staying for 2 weeks! She will arrive on Wednesday evening!! I love when she is here!! :) Some of my fondest memories are of spending summers at her house, going on a cruise with her, playing cards. She's really just a fun person to be around! I'm glad that she decided to come and visit us! She'll be staying at Mom's - so I will more than likely be over there a lot for the next 2 weeks. :) (which might be a nice break for Alex)

Things with Alex and I are going fine. We made our plans to go to LA for spring break (his brother Sterling is living there now). I'm excited! I haven't been to LA in 20 years. Sterling lives right in Studio City. I'm hoping to see lots of celebrities. (although I probably won't, and even if I do - I wouldn't approach them, cause that's rude) I'm excited anyway. :)

Okay - time to finish the laundry, and start thinking about bed.

...and we're back.

Another week down. They really have been flying by. No complaints from here. That having been said I am SO behind on my grading it's rediculous. I've got to get caught up this week - cause we have to prepare mid-quarter progress reports by the begining of next week (the 13th, I think).

Not that that's interesting. I'm just blathering.

In other news - Ladies and gentleman, we have a thesis!!! As most of you dedicated readers know, I have to write a thesis for my Master's. As I've taken a brief sabbatical from my grad work this semester, I gave myself the assignment to search for and develop a thesis statement. And I've found one... (this is literary - so if you're easily bored with scholastic chatter - skip to the next paragraph) I decided that many banned books are placed there due strictly to foul language, and not necessairly due to content. I have found that most parents have not even read the books they are so eager to ban. I decided that I should... WAIT! I can't divulge my thesis here on my blog. Someone might take my idea, and then it would appear as if I plagerized. Humpf... Well - so much for sharing my thesis. Rest assured - it's good. And it's already been approved by my advisor. :)

I'm so tired of getting sick. Marmee said I should just prepare myself to be sick for the next year. And my colleagues agree - most 1st year teachers spend the entire 1st year sick. But damn! Every weekend is ruined with me coughing & hacking, or worse... It would be so refreshing to just go out and have some fun on a weekend - and not have to be feeling all yucky.

I'll end today's post with some good information for any of you who are thinking of becoming a teacher... Things they don't tell you about teaching: 1 - You will have scheduled plan periods during which you will be expected to substitute in other teachers' classrooms, attend meetings, monitor hallways, receive mentoring (in your 1st year), and do pretty much everything under the sun EXCEPT PLAN! 2 - Nobody is going to tell you everything you need to know to correctly do your job. Learn on the fly - and don't expect anyone to feel bad that you weren't informed. It is your responsibility to find out what you don't know you're supposed to know. 3 - PRAY that you don't have to do a fire drill! Disaster drills and IOC drills are no big deal - you can figure those out by just watching everyone else. But since no one will tell you how to handle these drills ahead of time, it's best if you just PRAY to whatever god you choose that fire drills happen only when you have no students! 4 - Always bring your lunch. The cafeteria is a complicated and scary place and it's just not worth your life to try to go in there. 5 - Don't plan on having the luxury of modern technology. If you do have a computer, phone, tv, or overhead in your room - PLAN ON IT BREAKING! Because it will, and then you'll be screwed. 6 - Call parents early. I waited until today to call my first parent. I was afraid to. Don't be afraid. Call them. Some will be rude - but most will be appreciative, and they will influence their child to behave better in your class. 7 - Kiss your life goodbye. You will no longer have free time to casually read a book or watch a movie. Your life is now planning, grading, squeezing in 1 or 2 hours of sleep each night, and repeating that cycle. Be ready to be exhausted. 8 - Curriculum??? What curriculum??? There more than likely will not be one. They MIGHT give you a pacing calendar or some pass objectives, but then "good luck". Reserve the next 2 or 3 years of your life to creating your own curriculum. (At the end of which, you will be reassigned to teach a different grade or subject)

Now, don't take this to mean that I am disgruntled. I'm not. I'm still happy with my chosen profession. These are merely things I wish someone had told me before I started teaching. It would have been nice to know what to expect.

More to come! Stay tuned.

Yuck, But help is on the way!!!!!!

I've never had a job make me appreciate the weekend SO MUCH! Not to say I don't love the work, because I REALLY do. But by Thursday - I'm EXHAUSTED and SO ready for the weekend. This weekend, however, I was a little under the weather. I just felt awful. I had a headache all day Saturday that bordered on a migraine. Ugh - it was such a bummer! I'd like to enjoy staying in bed all day (should that be my chosen activity). But yesterday, I was in bed because I felt like crap.

Today I feel better. Infact - my first order of business today was to clean the kitchen. And I did it before I had even enjoyed my first cup of coffee!! Now, I'm on the sofa watching cooking shows and contemplating grading papers. It needs to be done. But much like the times when I have finals to study for, I'm noticing that the apartment could use a good once (or twice) over. I'm such a procrastinator. :) Good to know some things never change.

Can I tell you, I am SO excited!! We are about to enter the "corridor of presents" as Alex calls it. It all starts Feb 7th - our 3 year anniversary; then Feb 14th Valentine's day; and finally Feb 17th MY birthday. Hee hee hee 3 days within a 2 week period where I get presents! I have to admit, this is almost more exciting to me than Christmastime. Almost. Christmas does carry with it a certain magic that can't be replaced. But magic aside - I LOVE THIS MONTH!

And for those of you who have known me since the good ol' college days - you know this was not always the case. I used to hate my birthday and Valentine's day. But that was because I was a miserable person back then. Now - I'm a happy person who's just tired all the time. :) But I LOVE LOVE LOVE my birthday and Valentines day!!

Alright - I can't take it any more... Mission: Clean the apartment!!!!

We don't need no education

It's sort of surreal being a teacher. I still look at the other teachers - now my colleagues - and see them just the same way I saw my teachers when I was in school. I don't consider myself to be really one of them. Not that they aren't nice. They're great. But I guess I just never thought that teachers were really human, or that they had lives outside of the classroom. And I am human, and I have a life (however boring) outside of the classroom.

I actually said something along the lines of "I didn't have time to grade that, because I have a life" to one of my students last week. He looked at me in shear disbelief. I'm 100% convinced that he thought I was full of crap.

Last Friday, I decided to read aloud to my classes. I thought it would give them the opportunity to relax a little after a long week of working hard - and it would also give me a chance to demonstrate classroom control. The only problem was that I didn't consider the fact that I've been coughing for a week, so my voice was weak. I made it through, voice intact, but by the end of the day I felt as if I had been singing in an opera for 3 nights straight. Note to self - elect students from the class to read aloud at least some of the time.

The other areas of my life are going well. Alex is great, and we're so happy. We're coming up on 3 years in a couple of weeks. I can't believe it. Really, our only problem is that our apartment is so small. It's like living in a sardine can. But it hasn't prompted any fighting. Just clutter. And, as far as I know, no one has died from clutter. :)

I hope all of you are well! Thanks to those of you who voted for Jerome & his fiancee!! They are accepting votes until this coming Friday - so if you have a spare second, please cast another vote for them!!

Because I know that millions of people read this blog...

Have you ever known anyone who won a contest? Like - a big contest, not just bingo at the neighborhood bar...

Well - my cousin's best-friend and his fiancee are one of 5 finalists to win a dream wedding in Chicago. All they need is for people to go online and vote for them.

Do something nice for someone else today - click here and vote for Jerome & Monica!!

Karma will thank you.

What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor?

I just read Ellison's short story, "Repent, Harlequin" said the Ticktockman. It's cute. I was hoping I could use it for my 8th graders - but, it is WAY too difficult. Too many big words. Does anyone have any other short stories they can suggest??

I'd like to find things I can give them that aren't novels. Things we can do in between novels. I'm planning a 1 - 2 week unit on figurative language using music lyrics as a focal point. Things are moving along nicely.

At home, things are just normal. I get home from work around 5 - and by 9, I'm tired enough to start thinking about bed. Alex likes to say that I go to bed when Wheel of Fortune ends. It's not quite that early - but it's close.

I haven't heard from most of you in a long while - remember, you don't have to have a blogger account to post - you can just post as annonymous. :)

Hi diddle dee dee! The teacher's life for me...

Ten points to the first person who can tell me what movie that references...

Hee hee hee... Check me out - giving out extra credit outside of the classroom. :)

I'm now 100% convinced that I was born to be a teacher. I was really scared at first - afraid that the kids wouldn't respond well to me. But they have. I received feedback today from my team leader, infact, that she has heard nothing but positive comments from the kids about me. It's funny - but I get this strange swell of pride when the class is quietly working. Indescribable!

My schedule couldn't be better! I have 2 plan periods, one first hour, and one seventh. (There are only 7 hours in a day) I don't have to be there until 820am, and can leave by 4. Truth be told - I've been getting there around 8, and leaving around 445... But I have a lot to do in the way of organization and planning. I experience exhaustion like I haven't known in years by the time I get home each day. As I said to one of my fellow teachers - I've never before been so concerned with my feet and their comfort. Suffice it to say - fashion in the shoe department is no longer necessary... GIVE ME COMFORT! New shoes are on my list of things to obtain this weekend. 'Cause man-oh-man my dogs are barkin!!!!

I've really lucked out with my teaching environment. I am surrounded by an extremely supportive staff, and I do not feel like an outsider or a stranger in the halls. That is a feeling that would take weeks to gain in any other job I've had. (Even at Cendant - and I had a lot of friends who worked there)

How is it only 715?? It feels like it's about midnight. So - to sum up - I'm exhausted, but happy. I have found my niche in this world.... I was meant to be in front of a classroom.

So it is.

Quack Quack goes the duck.

Nice lazy Saturday. I'm so tempted to stay in my jammies and veg out in front of the TV all day long!! The cheesier the movie the better - thank god for TBS!!! Of course I'm looking around and realizing that I need to clean this apartment. But for now, I'm procrastinating and writing this FOR YOU! :)

I actually went to the school to observe some last week. It was great to meet the students and faculty ahead of my first day, when I know I'll be stressed and crazy. The retiring teacher I'm replacing is leaving me all sorts of supplies and materials. I am so greatful to her!! I'm convinced that I will have some challenging students - but I think I have some great ideas on how to reach them.

I'm really nervous. I'm afraid I am going to smile too much and be too nice - and then the kids will try to push me - or take advantage. Alex is nervous because 90% of the kids are bigger than I am. I told him that really doesn't matter. A 3' tall 50 pound kid could walk in with a weapon - and then he's automatically bigger than I am. But I feel safe in this school. They seem to have a good handle on security.

Okay - MOTIVATE!!! To the shower I go!!!!!

3:30am & WIDE awake.

Don't know why in any sane reality I'd be awake at 3am, but here I am. For some strange reason, Alex and I both shot out of bed wide awake at about 245, and neither of us could get back to sleep.

My mind is racing. (Although it was my bladder that initially woke me) :) I am thinking of all of the things I need & want to do for my job. So - I figured if I can get it all down somewhere, MAYBE my mind will let me sleep... I want to call all of the parents and introduce myself - as well as send home a note with each child giving the parents my contact information. (and I want to have a little space where the parents can sign it - so I know they are aware of me being the teacher now) I want to make sure I take snacky things with me to keep on my desk like nuts, etc... That way I won't be tempted by the evil vending machines. Do I have a locked cabinet or drawer somewhere in my room for my purse? When the service center calls me to officially hire me and give me the paper work to fill out - I need to make sure and ask when my first paycheck will be. (I'm a little afraid it won't be until Feb. 20th as this school district only pays once a month)

Also on my mind for my personal life this year - I want to take up Yoga. I'll probably have to wait until summer to have the spare finances and time to do it. But it's definately something I'm interested in learning. My cousin Nick took up some sort of Tai Chi - or some other sort of Chi - I'm not sure, but it's been life-altering for him, and I hear all of those sort of energy-connected exercises are that way. My 10-year high school reunion should be this summer, although I have not heard one word from any "reunion committee" ever. It would totally not surprise me if my slacker Gen X class decided just not to have one. But if there is one - count me in. My cousin Brian is graduating from law school this May, and a good part of my family will be in town for that. Then, I'm going to attempt to throw a HUGE bash for Marmee's 50th birthday (I'm thinking the party will be Aug 12th). If you live within driving distance and love Marmee as does all mankind, reserve that weekend and plan to be here celebrating with us!! (The party itself is not going to be a surprise party - but I am trying to keep the details from her - cause it'll be more exciting that way) We keep trying to get our apartment more organized and less cluttered. It's crazy how small 850 square feet can become. I don't even have all of my things here - there just wouldn't be room!! I hope that in this new year - we can find a system to help us organize better. Always, always, always - I want to take more pictures!! I never take enough.

I didn't really do resolutions this year. I think they're a set-up for failure. There are things that are in the back of my mind like those I've written here that I want to be aware of and attempt, or complete in the near future. But not "resolutions".

UGH!!! I'm still just awake as can be! Maybe a game of bookworm will drain my brain of it's vim!!