day one - withdrawal city

I am so angry - I just want to punch things and then I want to climb in my bed and sleep until this withdrawal period is over.

I honestly thought, when reading the book, that I wouldn't have a withdrawal issue. I guessed a little caffeine headache maybe, but my body is pretty much screaming. I am prickly and mad, and I just want to sleep.

I have snapped at my kids more than once today.

I am not a good mommy today. Not even a good person.

I am a ball of rage and crankiness.

and i haven't been the biggest fan of the food today. I put too much spinach in the smoothie this morning, and the lunch (roasted mushroom with red peppers on a pita) wasn't a high note for my day.

To top it all off, my 3 1/2 year old has decided not to nap today. So she's in her room making A LOT of noise - and if she wakes her little brother from his nap, I may well loose my shit.

ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Part of my brain is saying "this isn't the time for this diet!! do it when they're in school and you can detox all on your own" and the other part is saying, "we're in it... let's not go back, let's power through".

despite the thunderstorm in my head - right now I'm choosing the "power through" option. because even in my withdrawal addled state, I'm pretty certain it's the right choice.

but I'm angry.

and cranky.

and I don't want to do this anymore.