Goes to show, you never can tell.

My friend Angie and I have been discussing the sad fact that one can never truly know another person. No matter who it is, or how well you think you know them; really all you have is faith that the person you are trusting is actually who they say they are. And I'm not talking about people leading double lives - nothing that dramatic. I'm just talking about the secrets we all keep from the world that always find their way to the surface, surprising, shocking, and often times, disappointing those around us.

I won't go into any details for the sake of anynimity, but suffice it to say, both Angie and I found out some things about people who are VERY close to us that left us both hurt, shocked, and disappointed. (And it wasn't the same person - or the same act)

I guess the most important thing I'm learning from this is that if someone is bold-faced lying to me, when I find out the truth - I should just leave it alone. Confrontation won't help the situation, and neither will getting myself involved. Though - it leaves me sad, because I have (in self defense) become indifferent to this person who I love. I just don't care. I don't want to know anymore. I don't want this person to go to the trouble of lying to me, avoiding me, or even talking to me anymore. I just want this person to go on with his/her life, f*ck it up as much as possible - and then do not come to me when it all hits the fan.

Crappy attitude, I know... But I'm so tired of trusting people, only to be disappointed that my trust went unvalued.

Not that I'm so perfect.

Anyhow - it's been a busy week. My Grammy has been in town since Feb. 15th and I have LOVED having her here!! But it has meant that I haven't been home much. Most days - I'd leave the house at 7 or a quarter of, and then not get home until 10... But it has been worth it!! Eventhough she forgets things easily - and sometimes gets lost - and sometimes argues for no good reason, she's still my Grammy. I just take everything with a lighthearted attitude with her - and she doesn't get on my nerves. She gets on the nerves of some members of my family quite easily. What they don't realize is - A) She is not doing it to intentionally bother them - B) She is not going to be around forever, and then how will they feel having had such a short fuse with her - and C) None of us would be here today if it weren't for her, so respect is in order.

Again - not that I'm so perfect.

I just call 'em like I see 'em.

Maybe I need to take my high horse to bed for the night. Re-reading this post - it sounds like I'm staging an attack on all of the morally devoid people in my life.

I'm not. I'm just annoyed at the stupidity that I am faced with sometimes.

And I'm sure people get annoyed with me too. Probably more often than I realize.

Good things come in little blue boxes

Not a ring, but a beautiful floating heart necklace.
I love it!!! I was so shocked to see the pretty little blue box with the perfect little white ribbon! It certainly helped to make my birthday a particularly happy one! He also gave me the complete series of Buffy the Vampire Slayer on DVD - which most of you know is one of my all time favorite TV shows. (If not my absolute favorite...) So I was really excited about that too! I had a very nice birthday. 3 of my classes serenaded me at school. We went to Shogun for dinner (Me, Alex, Grammy, Dad, Judy, Brian and Jennifer) It was a good time, and the food was so yummy! Tomorrow (Sunday) we will be going out with Mom. Children of divorce always get 2 birthday celebrations. :) I've selected PF Changs for that occasion. I have a serious jones for expensive Asian cuisine. ;)

I got phone calls from several of you. Thank you very much! I have to say - I went to bed with the warm snuggly feeling that my friends and family are wonderful! I truly felt loved and special yesterday. Even mother nature wanted to give me a present, and she gave us almost an inch of snow. :) Coming home last night, blue box in my pocket - I got a little misty-eyed at the beautiful white snow. So peaceful - and just for me. Or so it seemed.

Today - we stayed in for the most part. It was cold and still snowy outside. We did, however, venture out to go and visit with Grammy. We played Scrabble. Mom was the winner - and I was the BIG loser. I don't think I even broke 100 points. But it was fun to play. Then Alex and I took advantage of the empty grocery store and got our shopping out of the way. Now we are enjoying a cozy evening at home. And soon we will snuggle into bed. YAY!

I couldn't be happier that this is a 3 day weekend! That means tomorrow night, I don't have to pack my lunch, fix my coffee, do laundry, NOTHING! I can just go to sleep with the comforting thought that I can sleep in the next morning! What could be better???

I know spring break will be here before we know it. Feels like Christmas was only about a week ago.

Good night, friends. I wish you all little blue boxes of your own!!!

Time flies - and then no need to endure anymore...

Hello all.

So I find myself again sitting on a Sunday night scratching my head and wondering where my week went. It seems only moments ago that it was last Sunday night, and I was in quite the same position. Only sick. I am feeling much better. How does the saying go, "it always gets darker before it gets light"? Well - it proved true for me last week. I was so sick, infact, that I actually called in sick to work on Wednesday. I lost my voice more times than I can count this week. I'm still a little sneezy and cough-y, but feeling a million times better. Alex was sick this week too. So we were a miserable pair on Tuesday the 7th, which was our 3 year anniversary. He made reservations for us at a fancy restaurant for that night, but we wound up postponing until Thursday when we were both feeling better. We went to Flemming's on Thursday. It was nice, romantic, fancy, all the things that I love!! It is the kind of place where they check your coats, and they comb the crumbs from the table top between courses. And they have courses. :) We had a lovely meal.

The rest of the week was me being frustrated that I was sick. And then me being frustrated with the extra duties involved with being a teacher. These things make me think that teaching at the secondary school level may not be the best permanant place for me. But who knows? I'm only 1 month in right now. Once I get used to balancing my time better - I might even grow to tolerate the extras. Right now, they're overwhelming, and annoying, and really pissing me off! :(

I'm excited because my Grammy is coming to visit and staying for 2 weeks! She will arrive on Wednesday evening!! I love when she is here!! :) Some of my fondest memories are of spending summers at her house, going on a cruise with her, playing cards. She's really just a fun person to be around! I'm glad that she decided to come and visit us! She'll be staying at Mom's - so I will more than likely be over there a lot for the next 2 weeks. :) (which might be a nice break for Alex)

Things with Alex and I are going fine. We made our plans to go to LA for spring break (his brother Sterling is living there now). I'm excited! I haven't been to LA in 20 years. Sterling lives right in Studio City. I'm hoping to see lots of celebrities. (although I probably won't, and even if I do - I wouldn't approach them, cause that's rude) I'm excited anyway. :)

Okay - time to finish the laundry, and start thinking about bed.

...and we're back.

Another week down. They really have been flying by. No complaints from here. That having been said I am SO behind on my grading it's rediculous. I've got to get caught up this week - cause we have to prepare mid-quarter progress reports by the begining of next week (the 13th, I think).

Not that that's interesting. I'm just blathering.

In other news - Ladies and gentleman, we have a thesis!!! As most of you dedicated readers know, I have to write a thesis for my Master's. As I've taken a brief sabbatical from my grad work this semester, I gave myself the assignment to search for and develop a thesis statement. And I've found one... (this is literary - so if you're easily bored with scholastic chatter - skip to the next paragraph) I decided that many banned books are placed there due strictly to foul language, and not necessairly due to content. I have found that most parents have not even read the books they are so eager to ban. I decided that I should... WAIT! I can't divulge my thesis here on my blog. Someone might take my idea, and then it would appear as if I plagerized. Humpf... Well - so much for sharing my thesis. Rest assured - it's good. And it's already been approved by my advisor. :)

I'm so tired of getting sick. Marmee said I should just prepare myself to be sick for the next year. And my colleagues agree - most 1st year teachers spend the entire 1st year sick. But damn! Every weekend is ruined with me coughing & hacking, or worse... It would be so refreshing to just go out and have some fun on a weekend - and not have to be feeling all yucky.

I'll end today's post with some good information for any of you who are thinking of becoming a teacher... Things they don't tell you about teaching: 1 - You will have scheduled plan periods during which you will be expected to substitute in other teachers' classrooms, attend meetings, monitor hallways, receive mentoring (in your 1st year), and do pretty much everything under the sun EXCEPT PLAN! 2 - Nobody is going to tell you everything you need to know to correctly do your job. Learn on the fly - and don't expect anyone to feel bad that you weren't informed. It is your responsibility to find out what you don't know you're supposed to know. 3 - PRAY that you don't have to do a fire drill! Disaster drills and IOC drills are no big deal - you can figure those out by just watching everyone else. But since no one will tell you how to handle these drills ahead of time, it's best if you just PRAY to whatever god you choose that fire drills happen only when you have no students! 4 - Always bring your lunch. The cafeteria is a complicated and scary place and it's just not worth your life to try to go in there. 5 - Don't plan on having the luxury of modern technology. If you do have a computer, phone, tv, or overhead in your room - PLAN ON IT BREAKING! Because it will, and then you'll be screwed. 6 - Call parents early. I waited until today to call my first parent. I was afraid to. Don't be afraid. Call them. Some will be rude - but most will be appreciative, and they will influence their child to behave better in your class. 7 - Kiss your life goodbye. You will no longer have free time to casually read a book or watch a movie. Your life is now planning, grading, squeezing in 1 or 2 hours of sleep each night, and repeating that cycle. Be ready to be exhausted. 8 - Curriculum??? What curriculum??? There more than likely will not be one. They MIGHT give you a pacing calendar or some pass objectives, but then "good luck". Reserve the next 2 or 3 years of your life to creating your own curriculum. (At the end of which, you will be reassigned to teach a different grade or subject)

Now, don't take this to mean that I am disgruntled. I'm not. I'm still happy with my chosen profession. These are merely things I wish someone had told me before I started teaching. It would have been nice to know what to expect.

More to come! Stay tuned.