I'm still here, folks. And I got a notice that I actually have follwers now. So - I'm guessing that requires me to post with at least something that resembles frequency.
Where have I been? Mostly - I've been posting on my other blog that I'm keeping about my pregnancy. I haven't wanted to combine the two areas of my life, because I have felt like this blog is more my place to be me - and speak frankly about things. But the truth is, there is no longer a chasm between pregnant me, and me. And soon, there will be no chasm between Mommy me, and me. Or maybe there will...
Here's where I get confused. Because I see so many women completely lose their own identities in being "mom", and in a way - I think that's important. In my opinion, to be a good parent is to give your life to being one.
HOWEVER - much like my theory on marriage, I think it is important to still have an identity outside of parenthood. I have a life outside of my marriage - and I am glad for it, because it gives us a chance to... I don't know, still be people and not just this amorphous blob of a married couple. Don't get me wrong, I spend PLENTY of time with my husband, and I love spending time with him. But I also love that he has a boys' night once a week, and that I have my girlfriends. All those people could mingle in the same room and get along nicely... but it is nice that they don't HAVE to.
So - maybe, for the sake of my sanity I need to make sure that I keep an identity outside of Mommy.
Who will that be? Certainly not who I am today. I imagine that considering how much this pregnancy has changed me, actually giving birth to a child will make even more of an impact.
And, the ever unanswerable question... Will that person have a PhD. Who knows?
Anyway, for now... I'm here - and I'll see what I can do about tapping into the "me" side of things.
- ag
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