And she was looking at herself And things were looking like a movie She had a pleasant elevation She's moving out in all directions

Have I mentioned that I'm sleepy recently?

I'm sitting in my living room in my favorite chair looking
at the clock and noticing that it is edging ever closer to
the time when I have to leave for my 5pm-9pm class. And I'm
dreading every passing second that takes me out of my comfy air
conditioned surroundings, thrusts me into my hot car - and out
to an uncomfy plastic chair for 4 hours while I struggle to
stay awake.

I feel like the PhD quest is throwing up roadblocks, and I don't
know that I feel like effing with it. My advisor doesn't seem
to like me much. I'm sure that a lot of that is in my head -
but the fact remains that I have that impression. And it makes
it difficult for me to want to work with him. I am still smarting
from his giving me a grade of "Incomplete" without so much as an
email letting me know #1 - THAT he was doing it, much less WHY.

I'm back to frustrated. I feel like if I do finish this degree -
I won't be doing it for myself, but to avoid the looks of disapproval
from others. And to avoid those looks - I'm enduring all of this
garbage???

I just don't know, folks. It might just not matter to me.

Or maybe, I'm just tired & cranky today.