hey blue, here is a shell for you

don't know why i'm feeling off today. yesterday too. i'm just not comfortable in my skin, in my head, my house, etc...

alex is picking up on it - and because he's so sweet, he's feeling guilty - and hoping that he isn't the cause. he's not. i don't honestly know what is the cause. probably - it's just stress. but i am rather stressed also about my weight loss. i've stalled out yet again, and i'm getting really frustrated again. it seems like i only loose the week after a fill, and then i'm stuck in neutral for the other three weeks.

it sucks.

i've been trying all day to clean up this house. i'm so tired of having to step around piles of crap all the time. boxes from our move, suitcases from trips, dirty laundry, books, aaaaaackkkkkkk! but each time i get one or two things accomplished - i loose steam, and i stop working. i haven't touched my laundry yet - and my bathroom is a disaster. but i really wanted to get the living room/dining room/kitchen area cleaned, since those are the common rooms. we'll see if tomorrow morning brings new motivation to work.

also - i'm tired of all the reading i've been doing for my young adult literature class. it was fun at first - but now, i'm really not in the mood to read a bunch more books. there were seventeen required titles, ten outside reading choices, 2 text books, and 1 literature circle choice. although i'm enjoying the class, i really think that 30 required books for any one class is beyond excessive.

i'm ready for this semester to be over. i'm ready for the wedding. i'm ready for the honeymoon. honestly, i'm ready to be done with my phd, and to move back to tulsa.

i'm just bleah...

Not only survived... Excelled

So - when I left you, I was still starting on my Masters, starting being a teacher, and starting to live with Alex...

Well - now, I'm in my PhD program (having earned a 4.0 in my Masters) have 3 years teaching experience, and am engaged to marry Alex in about 2 1/2 months.

I am a person who accomplishes that which she sets out to accomplish.

I have to write that, so when I look back at this, I can remember that I am a person who accomplishes that which she sets out to accomplish. I am. So, the next time I'm feeling like I'm going to fail at something, or that I won't be accepted for some reason, I just need to remind myself of all I've succeeded with - and all I am capable of.

Enough of the back-patting. I am sitting, currently, at my usual spot in Collings Hall at OU waiting for my evening class to begin. On Tuesday and Thursday nights, I'm in class until after 10pm. My schedule this semester is nothing short of impossible, but I'm midway through - and not dead yet... So onward!

The wedding... Well, it's going to be perfect. Despite all the drama that has come up, or will come up - I know that I will look beautiful, Alex will look handsome, and we will make our vows to one another in front of our loved ones, and in front of God. Unfortunately, Mom may wind up divorced before that happens. I am reasonably sure that she will have dissolved her very crumbly marriage long before Thanksgiving arrives. It makes me sad for her - because I don't want to see her alone. But she truly thinks that alone is the best way for her to be. Well - not completely alone, I'm sure she'll date - but she is not interested in marrying again. And who can blame her.

More soon...

-a

I'm back!

Okay - it's time to start blogging again. Now that I have no students under the age of 18 - I feel like I can return to the realm of the blogosphere.

Look for new and improved posts - much hilarity - and many many more mishaps!!

-a